Fake It 'til You Feel It
"Fake it until you feel it." Ah, old advice that helps one overcome their fear. Reading a story yesterday about a Mom rescuing her children, someone asked, "I didn't know you were so brave! How did you screw up your courage to take these steps?" The response was about what you'd expect. "Brave? Bah! I wasn't brave, just more frightened of what would happen if I didn't do anything!"
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” ~ Mark Twain
“I think there is something more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers. There aren’t enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.” ~ W. Clement Stone
“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you ready or not, to put this plan into action.” ~ Napoleon Hill
Are you frightened of what might happen if you don't DO anything? I have to be transparent and share that I am often asking myself, Is this the right action to take? The appropriate response? Sitting around the lunch table with colleagues, I shared how I'm trying to bring about a fundamental change in my thinking, a change I think is desirable. It's proving quite difficult, even though colleagues tell me I'm achieving a modicum of success. What is that goal? To internalize the principles in Crucial Conversations and Crucial Confrontations. Of course, while I experience success some days, failure dogs my steps on others.
The feeling results in one of my favorite Robert Quinn, author of Deep Change, stories. Three professors are walking down a hall, each highly respected. When one of them received tenure, he confessed to his friends that he didn't know enough. He felt like a fake.
Perhaps the condition of NOT being a fake is realizing you don't know it all, realizing a commitment that you have to keep re-evaluating who you are.
What I want to know is, how long does it take to turn into the person who actually 'feels' comfortable, confident, and competent on the inside, rather than the person who believes they are a fraud in these three categories, and taking a new setting hour by hour and hoping they don't get discovered in their inept-ness. Source: Quoted in The Bamboo ProjectMichele Martin, The Bamboo Project blogger, shares her perspective:
Your real question is did I feel like a fraud inside and, if so, how did I get over it? Here's the thing. There are days when I feel very good about myself professionally and then other days when I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing at all--a complete, inept imposter. The days when I feel confident, competent and comfortable are gifts. I can do things to encourage the gift to come more often, but I can't control it all the way. I can only try to create the fertile ground for the gifts of grace and ease to come to me.
Her response is "spot-on." I am an inept imposter. In fact, recognizing when you feel like an imposter is a source of power, enabling you to avoid arrogant posturing, insecure retaliation against others. It's an opportunity to tap into the power of the team.
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